Seeing your check engine light suddenly come on can be very frustrating. Did you know your brain has a natural check engine light? It’s the feeling of being frustrated.
Whenever you feel frustrated, your brain focuses your attention on the fact that you feel something you value is being denied. Whenever we don’t get our needs and desires satisfied to the levels we want, we get frustrated. It indicates something is judged to be “wrong,” based on a value judgment, using your values and needs as the standards of “right.” Frustration provides internal motivation to change your frustrating situation in some way. The stronger your value, need, or desire is, the more intensely frustrated you may feel if you believe your need is being denied or your value is being violated. If something doesn’t naturally matter to you, then it is unlikely to be a source of frustration. No one situation will generate frustration in all humans. We are each unique in our values, needs, and desires.
For example, let’s say you are on a family vacation driving trip when you notice your check engine light has just come on. One person might be frustrated because they highly value the family time and fears that the engine issue will cut down on the enjoyment of the family’s vacation. Another person who has a high sense of honor or duty may be frustrated because they now feel guilty for not having the engine inspected prior to taking the trip. A third person may feel frustrated because they desire a sense of order and have planned the entire trip down to the minute and view having to stop and have the engine looked at by a mechanic as an unwelcome change of plans. The same thing happened to all of these people: the check engine light came on. Each of them experienced a varying degree of frustration as a natural reaction to the situation based on their own value judgment. The key is understanding that each individual’s frustrated reaction was the result of their own strong needs, values, and desires.
Dr. Steven Reiss was a recognized expert on human motivation and developed the 16 Basic Desires Theory. He created the Reiss Motivation Profile®, which is a scientifically valid assessment tool to measure the 16 needs and desires we all share to varying levels as humans. A great way to understand more about human motivation is to read his book, “Who Am I?”
As a Reiss Motivation Profile Master, I was trained by Dr. Reiss to help people understand what matters most to them and what they need to feel satisfied with life and to avoid frustration. By completing a Reiss Motivation Profile®, you will discover which of the 16 basic desires drives your behaviors and can be the source of your greatest frustrations. Once you understand your frustration check engine light, you can create strategies to effectively reduce your frustration and get back to enjoying the trip down life’s highway.
Frustration is a warning, just like your check engine light. If you leave it unaddressed, then you risk being stuck on the side of the road or worse. Your brain is not designed to tolerate long-term frustration and so it is best to know how to try to reduce frustration before it becomes a more significant issue that impacts your well-being.
Is frustration lighting up your mental dashboard? Perhaps a better understanding of your needs, desires, and values can help you stay on the road to success, improve your productivity and increase your sense of well-being.
I use the Reiss Motivation Profile® with all of my coaching clients. It helps us discover what matters most to you, what is most likely to switch on your frustration light, and how to create strategies that increase your sense of well-being. If your check engine light is on, we should talk.
Ready to fire up your work and your life? I’m an executive coach from Indianapolis, and I work one-on-one with executives and managers, in person for local clients or via Zoom. If this post raised a question about your work or your next step, we should talk. The first discovery call is free and confidential. Book your discovery call, or call or text me at 317-643-0058, Monday through Friday, 9 to 5.
