“What skill do you think is most valuable for a founder to develop?” asked my executive coaching client.
“Relatability powered by the empathetic understanding of others,” I replied.
Relationships Require Connections
Being in an interpersonal relationship with anyone requires the ability to meaningfully relate to each other. Relating, by definition, means to establish a connection. Where do we connect? We try to connect around common values, interests, and goals.
When we try to relate with people who hold opposite values and worldviews to ours we naturally tend to reject them because it naturally triggers our primitive threat-protection system in our brains. We risk naturally judging people with wildly different values and worldviews as being weird, bad, wrong, or even dangerous.
Where Most Bosses Go Wrong
For example, a boss has an extreme need to test her self-confidence may not value nor need encouragement or feedback from others. Self-confident people tend to evaluate their performance, mainly on self-evaluation. A self-confident boss may find it hard to understand how someone has an intense need for acceptance of others and has minimal self-confidence naturally. They may find the employee’s repeated requests for performance feedback as a character flaw or area for professional development. Instead of giving the employee the encouragement and positive feedback they need to boost their performance, the self-confident boss might advise the person to increase their own self-confidence and send an unintentional message that the employee is somehow deficient lacking a desired professional trait. Motivationally intelligent bosses understand the need to adapt their approach to each individual they serve and find ways for from meaningful connections with other people.
We Must Adapt to Relate and Connect
We need to develop a connection adaptor to plug into relationships with people who are very different from ourselves. This adaptor has various levels of connectivity, understanding, tolerance, acceptance, respect, and more. An empathetic understanding of differences is best understood and developed through developing one’s motivational intelligence using the Science of Motivation®.
Leaders in the 21st Century must develop and sustain highly effective relationships with others centered on creating significant change. To be effective, leaders must be able to relate or connect with others. Motivational intelligence holds the key to meaningful connections.
What could become possible for you as a leader if you can learn to make and maintain excellent connections with those you work with?
As an executive coach, I can help you use the Science of Motivation® to rapidly increase your motivational intelligence. You can quickly learn how to make connections with others and understand how your own empathetic blind spots impact your effectiveness.
Can we connect and have a conversation about motivation?