Sometimes you just have to let go of what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)
Accepting the truth that we are naturally “sometimes” creatures can sometimes be liberating!
In “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most,” co-authors Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton wrote, “No one is always anything.” They argue that human identities are complex, and those of us who accept our innate complexity can shift away from an unrealistically simple “all-or-nothing” view of who we are and notice it is easier to accept certain troubling and complex aspects of our personalities. Stone and Patton state, “When you hold yourself to an all-or-nothing standard, even a small mistake can seem catastrophic and almost impossible to admit.”
How does embracing our “sometimesness” ease our inner judgment? We can accept we sometimes make mistakes and we sometimes do better than others. We sometimes try hard and sometimes we don’t. We may desire and value being good, ethical people who sometimes don’t live up to our own standards. We can accept our complexity and give ourselves a giant break!
A “sometimes” orientation embraces our humanity and allows us to forgive ourselves when we sometimes don’t do as well as we would like to do. Doing something bad doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. You might be a great person who sometimes does bad things.
Does enough truthful evidence exist to convict you of living as a “sometimes” creature? If so, how can your self-evaluations of your thoughts and behaviors and judgments of others change if you accept that humans (including you) are complex and so are “sometimes” creatures by nature?
I suggest we put the word “always” on a use-with-extreme-caution list. When we say “always,” we risk exaggerating or, worse, being highly inaccurate.
I am now a card-carrying life member of the “sometimes” club. It’s free and freeing to join! Sometimes it leads people to start living their lives FIRED UP!
Ready to fire up your work and your life? I’m an executive coach from Indianapolis, and I work one-on-one with executives and managers, in person for local clients or via Zoom. If this post raised a question about your work or your next step, we should talk. The first discovery call is free and confidential. Book your discovery call, or call or text me at 317-643-0058, Monday through Friday, 9 to 5.
